Getting the Guy: Self-Esteem Trumps Pretty

Part of the reason we have difficulty attracting men who make us happy
is because we believe that such men don't really exist. We believe that
to attract a man we have to be the prettiest girl in the room, have the
biggest breasts on the block, the tightest abs, and so on. We must stay
on our toes to makes sure somebody prettier, smarter, or whatever
doesn't sneak up and snatch our man. It never ends.

And then, as we're minding our own business on the supermarket
check-out line, we glimpse a headline on a magazine cover: "Jessica's Hotter
Than Ever! How Can Nick Leave Her Now?" The subtext is, if a fox like
Jessica Simpson can't hold on to a man, what chance do the rest of us
have?

Even if your tastes in literature run to feminist authors like Susan
Faludi and Noami Wolf over, say, periodicals like In Touch and The Star,
you're probably influenced by the negative messages we're fed by the
media. I know I was.

And the bad vibes don't only come from magazines and TV shows. Listen,
for instance, to the lyrics in your favorite songs. So many of of my
favorite female artists sing of being suicidal over the loss of a guy. A
lot of my favorite male artists sing about hurting women, hating women,
or running through them like pints of beer.

It's one thing to enjoy popular music, but be aware of the whacked-out
ideas it can weld into your brain if you're not paying attention: 1)
You're nothing without a guy, and 2) You're a disposable object that can
be easily replaced.

The next time you leave the house know this: You are one of a kind and
irreplaceable. There is only one you. You don't need a guy, but if
you're going to have one, he must love you for you (not your body parts,
your money, or your clothes). He must add value to your life.

Once you love yourself, really and truly love yourself (because of who
you are inside, as opposed to the fact that you just forked over $450
to have your teeth whitened), you will attract better men.

Good men definitely exist. But they want to be with a woman who values
and esteems herself. (Self-love trumps pretty every time!) Once you
become that woman, you will magically find yourself enjoying a happy,
angst-free relationship with a guy who's in it for the long term.

skeletool cupola plans